Some Random Thoughts of a Novice

Today, December 19, I have become grandfather for the sixth time. Sulekha, wife of my son Rupesh, has given birth to a baby girl

at a hospital in Jalandhar.  Both the mother and the baby are fine. We already have five grandchildren – Pallavi and Arvind; son and daughter of Anju and Naresh, Komal and Tanya; daughters of Vaishali and Jatinder and Suhani; daughter of Sulekha and Rupesh. Now. the fifth i.e. Suhani is 5 plus. My son Naresh lives in Sweden. Pallavi and Arvind were born in Stockholm. They are in their teens. Komal and Tania were born in Faridabad where my daughter Vaishali lives. Suhani was also born in Faridabad in the care of Vaishali and Jatinder before Sulekha and Rupesh moved to our small flat in Gurgaon on return from Prague. On my retirement in December,2010, I came to Jalandhar and Rupesh and his family also followed me in Jalandhar subsequently in the beginning of 2013.

It is for the first time for me that I am around at the time of an addition in our family. We have been moving from one place to another in my diplomatic career. I recall that my wife visited Stockholm in 1999 to be with Anju and Naresh at the time of birth of Pallavi, our first grandchild. We were posted in Delhi. Vaishali and Rupesh, my daughter and son, went to Stockholm when Arvind was born in 2001. We were posted in Tokyo. Komal and Tania, daughters of my daughter Vaishali, were born when we were posted in Tokyo and Prague respectively. Suhani was born 2009 in Faridabad when we were working in Minsk. I think, with the sixth grandchild- daughter of Sulekha and Rupesh, our family is almost complete.

 We all are happy. There is a mixed feeling. As regards the family life, I am a novice. We are blessed with three children, two sons and a daughter. Frankly, consciously or sub-consciously, I neither felt elated when sons were born and dejected when the daughter was born. May be it was because of the fact that our first born was our son Naresh. With the arrival of Naresh’s daughter and son in Stockholm, life remained as usual but happy. It may be because of the fact that they are living in a developed country, Sweden and their future is safe and secure. Vaishali, my daughter, has two daughters. Somehow, at the back of my mind and more so with Vidya, my wife, we expected and longed for a son in the family of my daughter. But now, let me say with a sense of pride that both Vaishali and her husband Jatinder behaved and performed so well in bringing up Komal and Tania that there is no sense of remorse any more. Sulekha and Rupesh are also blessed with two daughters with the arrival of the new one. Today again, I am gripped with a mixed feeling. I must confess. It is more so because of the fact that Rupesh is still in the processing of settling down nicely in life. Though God has been kind to us that we can afford to give our children a reasonably good bringing up yet there is a lingering worry and concern. What is this concern and worry? It is difficult to explain and write. My children may or may not agree with me but the fact remains. Perhaps, we are to deal with a mindset which comes up and boys are preferred and expected over daughters. It is a pity. We are yet to overcome this social humbug. It is a matter of gratification that my daughter Vaishali and my daughters in law Anju and Sulekha are so nice and caring. It gives me considerable solace and strength to cope up with any negative felling on getting another daughter in the family. Life goes on.